Blog

steven wesley internal monologue

The #1 Difference Between Winning or Losing AND Happiness or Unhappiness

 

So what makes us take that next step when we don’t want to? Like when we’re tired, upset, or deflated. What keeps us positive and mentally strong when we are going through tough times in our life?

It’s something that is with you your whole life. For most people it is their entire experience and reality. It dominates how they act, what they do, how they interact with other people and their surroundings. What is it?? Its your inner monologue. Your inner monologue is what you are telling yourself about yourself and your environment at all times. If your inner monologue is affecting so much of your life, wouldn’t you want to control it and master it?

The number one difference between winning or losing..between happiness or unhappiness..is your inner monologue. And the real difference is having a POSITIVE inner monologue. Mastering your inner monologue is essential to living a tranquil life. A positive inner monologue will keep you moving forward through the hard times by offering encouragement, love, and support to yourself which will cultivate resiliency. This resiliency turns into repetition as you stay on your path and enhance your skills. Repetition is the mother of all learning, which eventually transforms itself into mastery. Once you have done something so often, over so much time, you become a master of that craft, which is where you see the best results. Your inner monologue can start a snowball effect of success for you (or an avalanche of failure). These steps are a cycle and progression that happen naturally as a consequence of cause and effect. Most masters experience this cycle but are rarely aware of it on a conscious level. It is easier to conceptualize when the steps are broken down like this.

Now on the flip side, if you are constantly beating yourself up and telling yourself you cant do something, or its too hard, or you don’t have the time or knowledge, or you don’t have the necessary skills, then these types of thoughts will turn into a self fulfilling prophecy and your inner monologue has essentially doomed you. That’s why you need to stay aware of your monologue. You’re hearing what it’s saying but your not controlling what it’s saying. This is usually happening subconsciously if you are not aware. This is like driving a race car and only knowing where the gas is. Your’e setting yourself up for disaster if you don’t master the workings of the vessel. This obviously applies to your life as well. If you don’t know how to work the software of your being properly, you’re going to be out of control. Do not give any energy or time to thoughts that do not positively serve you. The mind is a tool that should only be used to work for you, not cause you unnecessary suffering.

Now that you know what an inner monologue is and why it’s important, I want to give you 5 tools to cultivate your inner monologue so that it is positive and actually serves you.

Tool 1 – Reframing – this is a method where you change the parameters of a situation so that they are favorable for you. For example, your boss needs you to step in with him/her to a surprise meeting with a brand new client. Most people would say great there goes an hour of my day and I don’t even know this client so I probably won’t be able to help anyways. Instead of taking this approach, reframe the situation. Think like this..your boss obviously values your abilities enough to call you into the meeting. Plus, you now have an opportunity to meet new people. This technique can transform your reality. Do this often enough and it will become a part of your default state.

Tool 2 – Self Love – being accepting and compassionate with your self is a big deal as I mentioned earlier. Release all need for self judgement or punishment. Forgive yourself and know it is okay to make mistakes. How do you know if you are self loving enough? Use my Car Singing Test. Can you sing out loud in your car and not judge your voice at all? If the answer is no..you need more self love.

Tool 3 – Mediation & Mindfulness – thoughts can be slowed down through meditation. Slowed down thoughts are easier to manage and can been seen for what they are..just thoughts! You are not your compulsive thoughts. Become a mindful observer of your thoughts. Then consciously choose them.

Tool 4 – Assuming the Positive – we make so many assumptions throughout the day that have no basis and don’t help us. What if you could make assumptions that actually work for you? Say you’re waiting for your partner to text you back and it’s been a while. Many people will automatically get worried and assume that they did something wrong. Instead, simply assume the other person’s phone is dead and they will get back to you when they can, or even better, they want to impress you and are taking their time to create a great response to send you.

Tool 5 – Affirmations – affirmations reprogram your subconscious mind, which has a major influence on what we think and do. I do affirmations a lot. The best way to do these are to look in the mirror, make strong eye contact with yourself, and then say your affirmation with conviction. Constant repetition is also needed. Multiple times in a row and on a daily basis. Also, always use the positive form of what you want. For example, if you want to stop being so timid, don’t say “I’m not timid.” You have to say instead “I am courageous!” You saying “I’m not timid” still ends up reaffirming your timidness. And use the present tense. Don’t say “I will be courageous.” Say “I AM courageous!” Plant your flag in the present and take ownership of what you want now!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

84 thoughts on “The #1 Difference Between Winning or Losing AND Happiness or Unhappiness”

  1. Hello, I’m so happy I came across your web page, I basically discovered you by mistake, while I was looking on Digg for best rated electric razor. Regardless I am here right now and would simply enjoy to say thanks for a marvelous write-up and the overall exciting blog (I likewise adore the theme), I don’t have sufficient time to read it all at the moment though I have saved it and moreover included the RSS feeds, so once I have the time I will be returning to look over a great deal more. Make sure you do keep up the great job.

    http://flowersbooking.com/story.php?title=best-electric-shaver-for-men

  2. Hi I’m so delighted I came across this web page, I actually encountered you by error, when I was researching on Bing for homework help online. Anyhow I’m here now and would simply enjoy to say cheers for a fantastic blog post and the all round impressive blog (I likewise like the theme/design), I don’t have sufficient time to browse it entirely at the moment yet I have bookmarked it and moreover added the RSS feeds, so when I have time I’ll be back to go through much more. Please do continue the awesome work.

    http://cizimodevi.com/

  3. Appreciating the persistence you invested in the site and comprehensive details you present. It really is amazing to come across a blogging site occasionally that is not the similar unwanted rehashed content. Great read! We have bookmarked your blog and I’m adding the RSS feeds to my own best medical malpractice attorneys web page.

    https://www.andresberger.com/

  4. Thanks for every other great article. Where else may anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect way of writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am at the search for such information.

    http://doyonavocats.ca/

  5. Great – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Excellent task..

    http://www.madeira-island.com/forum/discussion/52864/know-very-much-more-about-rc-helicopter

  6. Hey there! This is my first reply on your site so I just wanted to give a fast hello and say I really enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend other sites that deal with real twitter followers? I am as well highly fascinated by that thing! Thanks for your time!

    http://followergratis.net

  7. I was discussing with a good friend of mine around this info and even about personal injury settlements too. I do believe you made a few very good points in this article, we’re excited to continue reading stuff from you.

    http://www.smbb.com

  8. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!

    https://www.bitcoins-to-cash.com/

  9. I would really enjoy to know new information on this issue! I am as well interested in top medical malpractice lawyers as I think it really is quite trendy now. Keep it up!

    toppornsites.com

  10. I’m interested to find out what blog system you have been using? I am having several minor security issues with my latest blog regarding ethereum trading and I’d like to find one thing a lot more safe. Do you have any recommendations?

    https://www.ethereumpro.net/

  11. I would really enjoy to know new information on this issue! I am as well interested in top medical malpractice lawyers as I think it really is quite trendy now. Keep it up!

    toppornsites.com

  12. Many thanks for discussing this, I bookmarked this page. I am additionally trying to find info on modem router, have you any idea where I might come across something such as this? I will be back in a little while!

    toppornsites.com

  13. You are completely correct! I liked reading through this and I will certainly get back for more soon. My own internet site is on freight forwarder, you can take a glance if you are interested in that.

    https://lwslogistics.com

  14. I am actually loving the theme of your blog. Do you encounter any internet browser compatibility problems? A number of my own website readers have lamented concerning my how to find a mesothelioma lawyer blog not working appropriately in Internet Explorer yet looks excellent in Firefox. Have you got any kind of advice to aid correct the problem?

    http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/bestmeso32group/posts/6262095/Declaring+mesothelioma+Payment+Lay+claim

  15. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this web site. I’m hoping the same high-grade website post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own website now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a good example of it.

    https://goo.gl/B1xtw7

  16. I’m truly enjoying the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems? A few of the website visitors have lamented regarding my dental office website not working the right way in Explorer though seems fantastic in Firefox. Have you got any suggestions to aid fix this situation?

    http://polski-ginekolog.org.uk

  17. Hi there, I am truly excited I came across this webpage, I actually encountered you by mistake, when I was searching on Google for free hd movies online. Anyways I’m here right now and would just love to say thank you for a tremendous write-up and the all around enjoyable website (I furthermore love the theme/design), I do not have the time to browse it entirely at the moment though I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so whenever I have time I will be back to browse a lot more. Please do maintain the wonderful work.

    http://www.tongtongtong.com/www/userinfo.php?uid=3511015

  18. Thank you for this excellent article! I actually liked it.I’ll be sure to save this website and will come back in the future. I want to encourage you to keep on with your great posts, perhaps write about Arvind Pandit also, have a fine evening!

    http://www.ornellafado.com

  19. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

    http://www.brownpapertickets.com/blogcomments/317356

Leave Comment:

Your email address will not be published.