We go through so much of our lives looking for social acceptance and seeking validation don’t we? It can be debated whether this is a good or bad thing, but if you want more success with people and interpersonal communication read on.
People will naturally and automatically like you if you can do these three things:
1. Share commonalities. It’s a scientific fact that people like other people that are like them and examples of this can be seen all around us every day. If you want to easily build rapport with someone, find some type of common ground with them. Is there something that both of you do that is similar? Do you share the same hobby? Do you go to the same gym? Ask them questions to get more info. The commonality can be where you went to school, a sports team, type of music, line of work, where you’re form, etc. Whatever the commonalty is, it will act as a bond that connects you and that you can refer back to when needed. Also, the more unique or specific the commonality, the more likeable you become to them.
2. Help them achieve a task. Make their life easier. Ask yourself how you can save them time, money or energy. This can be helping with a project at work, chores at home, introducing them to someone, teaching them something, etc. Assist them in getting something done quicker, easier and/or cheaper. The gratification they will get from achieving their goal then gets reflected back onto you if you helped and instantly makes you more likeable. Also, you usually end up benefiting in the future from our natural urge for reciprocity.
3. Make them feel good. This can come in many different forms. It can be a compliment (tailor the compliment, don’t let it be genic). It can be a smile. It can be as simple as the use of their name. Let them know that they did great work. Let them know that they are valued or just be interested in what they are doing. Radiate your happiness onto them. If you leave an interaction and the other person is feeling good, they associate that good feeling with YOU. Then in the future, your likeability is already ingrained in their subconscious mind. This has social benefits that you will reap down the road.
Do these three things and it will be impossible for someone not to like you!